October 21, 2013 was the last day I ever got to see my mom.
I took her to the airport that afternoon unaware of the significant memory we were about to make. She had come to visit the previous week–first and foremost to find out the gender of baby Striclyn! In addition to learning that our first-born was going to be a little girl, she spoiled me with maternity clothes, bought Tylee her first and only article of clothing from Grammy T, loaded us up with groceries and toiletries from Costco, and took us on a road trip to Arkansas see our good friend, Neely, get married. We made so many memories, so many plans, and had so many laughs.
After I helped her get her luggage out of my car and onto the airport curb, I gave her a big hug and told her thanks again for everything she had done for us that week. We swapped I love yous, hugged one last time, and I returned to my car. As I put the car in drive and started to pull forward, I looked over at her one more time hoping for another wave or something. To my surprise, she had walked a few paces and turned back to face my car. She had one hand on her suitcase and the other was wiping away tears. I rolled down my window and said, “Mommm…don’t cry! I’ll see you in a couple weeks, okay?” She looked at my eyes like that wouldn’t be soon enough and gave me an unsatisfied, “Okay, you’re right,” as she wiped away more tears. I said something along the lines of, “I love you, Mom. Call me when you get home, alright?” to which she replied “Okay. I love you too, Sweetie.”
I rolled up my window, smiled and waved one last time, and watched her start to walk away as I drove off–tears then rolling down my cheeks as well.
I will always miss my mom. My hope is not that I will see her again some day, but my hope is in Jesus. I don’t think that Heaven is just a big reunion with all our missed loved-ones. If that is where my hope is, I believe one day I will be highly disappointed. My hope is that when I can actually see my Jesus face to face that nothing else ever matters again. That seeing my mom and watching her meet Tylee for the first time would pale in comparison to being held by my God in the place that He made just for me. I know that His love for me and His love for my mom is mighty. I’m certain that as soon as my mom got to see Him in all of His glory, He has finally had her undivided attention ever since. I don’t think she’s up there watching over me or looking down at me (unless it’s because she’s face down in front of her Savior!) . . . and I’m okay with that. She is finally resting in the arms of Him who made her in the first place.
Thank you, God, for your great love for us. Please be my strength. Please hold us tight. I love you so much, Lord. Come Lord Jesus, come.