Yesterday we said goodbye. How do you look into the eyes of a boy who has already been abandoned once and tell him you’re leaving before you’ve ever gotten to be his mom? A boy who has asked you almost every day since you’ve met, “When I am come to Ucare house with you?” how do you say, no sweet boy–not today, not ever. When your whole heart is screaming and you can’t even sleep and you’re mopping the floors with your tears on your way out–how?!
God absolutely carried us through the whole day yesterday. If you know much about my husband, you might know that it takes a lot to make him cry. Like, I could count on one finger the number of times I’d actually seen him cry real tears before this week. For the past three days his cheeks have been stained and his eyes have been bloodshot. In the same way my dad has been mourning with us for days. Every new goodbye comes with a new angle of grief and loss. These were supposed to be our friends, our family, our children for the next 10+ years. We were supposed to make disciples, we were supposed to be the body of Christ with these people. And just like that, it’s over.